Won’t you stay awhile longer
Unfortunately I can’t remember the title of the short story I’m referring to here, in which a houseguest overstays his welcome but not through his fault alone. The story is about a man who guests at a home. When the time comes for him to leave the hosts ask him to stay, as polite hosts are supposed to do. Well the poor chap doesn’t know how to say no so he stays, and on it goes. I can’t quite recall how the story ends but I think it has something to do with him dying there because they’d been at it so long or he’s poisoned or some such.
My point? Why don’t persons say what they mean? That story is a good example of what I’ve got issue with, exaggerated though it may be. The hosts wanted him to leave, they should have said “g’bye.” I know I’m probably preaching to the choir especially since I think this trend may be changing but most individuals seem to have a difficult time speaking the truth of their thoughts, why is that? Speaking the truth doesn’t mean one has to be rude or nasty about it. The unfortunate corollary to this that has grown up of course is that when you do speak the truth now persons infer layers of meaning when in fact all that was said was the plain truth without any secret messages. The his/her diary joke is an amusing illustration of this.
Naturally I bring this up because I speak truthfully, not always the entire truth but I don’t lie and I don’t bother mincing my words. Some call that “harsh.” As if being lied to is much better. I really have a difficult time grasping that someone would rather I lie to make them feel better in the now than just tell the truth so we can move ahead. I’m a polite guy, I know how to do that without a problem and somehow it shocks people when they learn that I tell the truth but can be nice and polite at the same time. Like I said, truth doesn’t mean rudeness, as if House is the only possible model for truth-tellers.
I have some trouble getting by in “regular” crowds because people expect me to be something I’m not and furthermore I can’t possibly understand it. The love of my life tells me it’s because I lack a second communication centre (as apparently females do not).
As an aside, if someone knows what story I’m talking about I’d be very grateful if they could give me the title.
February 2nd, 2008 at 11:05 pm
I can relate to what you said about getting by in “regular” crowds of folks. If you stand back and just listen, sometimes you can hear their brains whizz as they reconstruct truth repeatedly to fit what they want to say.
Dead on. You can be truthful without being a jerk. I will openly admit, however, that while I don’t hold him as a role-model, House is great.
February 16th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
If you tried to explain this to the Japanese, their heads would explode. They do everything they can to avoid directness. It’s one of the aspects I hate about Japanese culture.