The transitory nature of friendship
The adage “friends come and go, but enemies accumulate” seems to be true.
Friendship is transitory. On the heels of my last post I’ve become locked in a loop and I cannot seem to find a way out.
Friends come and go and that is the truth. There does not seem to be a power or force strong enough to transmute a plain friendship into something that can withstand the ravages of time and distance.
For instance, when two friends separate because one moves to a distant place. The bonds weaken and inevitably the two persons change. While they may call or write each other at first that eventually stops. They may meet once or twice a year but this is nothing more than a homage to what was once had and a yearning for it again.
The two persons, without each other’s continued influence, begin to delineate until they are friends in name only. This can of course happen ideologically, philosophically, morally, politically etc. as well.
Am I right or wrong here?
June 17th, 2007 at 19:07
I think we can agree that human contact is important in a friendship. However, I would like to point out that people are sometimes very good friends over the Internet. Sometimes, couples are formed over the Internet.
June 18th, 2007 at 11:52
Much of what you say is true but I make a distinction between friendship and closer loving relationships though I’m aware I didn’t mention it.
June 18th, 2007 at 18:17
Still, there are very good friends especially in online gaming communities. For instance, World of Warcraft is an example of a place where people become good friends. It may have to do w/ the fact that you have a character and you can “look” at the other person, similar to a physical interaction.
June 19th, 2007 at 21:09
I would question how “good” these friends are. Would they give you 3000 dollars if you needed it? Would they drive across the country if you needed it?
What I’m referring to when I say friends is what commonly is called “best” friends. What persons consider friends, I call acquaintances.
Small differences in definition I suppose.
June 20th, 2007 at 16:28
I can’t speak from personal experience, but I have a classmate who has, I suspect, some very good friends online. I don’t know him well enough to say that he has made best friends, unfortunately. He did mention that he talks to these people very often, though.
In any case, the original point was the deterioration of friendship with distance. I agree that this is generally true (I’m a prime example of it) but on the other hand new technologies and societal changes allow for some bridging of these losses. I guess my point is we need not be so pessimistic about friendship… it’s a small world after all
June 20th, 2007 at 20:55
Ah you mistake, the original point was not about distance it was about the nature of friendship and its inability to withstand the “ravages of time and distance” without some other assistance. Such as blood relation or formal bond.
Distance was only one aspect to this analysis.
It also was not meant to be pessimistic, only an observation that I’ve yet to see disproved.
June 21st, 2007 at 00:29
I think you’re splitting hairs here. I was referring to the exact same thing, more importantly to the example provided. I still think the idea is a bit pessimistic… or at least a tone of resolution and inability to alter some things. It would be the same as me remarking that we all die… yes it’s true and uncontested, but I hope you see my point.
Now, I do by chance have an example as to how friendships can withstand stressors such as time and space. My mom is good friends with some people in Romania still, and mind you we haven’t seen them in 7 years. She talks to them on the Internet via a videoconference chat that uses yahoo messenger. This probably fits into the assistance of which you speak of.
So, to summarize, I disagree that there is no a power that can hold friendships together. The power is in the connection itself, which is up to the friends to make. Ultimately both people have display a similar interest in maintaining the friendship. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Of course, I understand that in the majority of cases this isn’t true. There are times in life where people must go their own way, and that is just something that we must accept.
June 21st, 2007 at 09:07
I like it, I like it.